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Dating After 40 - Dating After 40: First-Date Red Flags This Guy Isn't for You He's pleasant including cordial. However, there are red flags that make you cautious. Some by themselves are deal breakers (he drinks too much), while others have the cumulative effect of I'm going to pass on the guy. For each woman the red flags she notices could be different. Here are some of mine: * He talks too much. He does not ask you a question, except perhaps a trite 1 like Tell me regarding yourself. Or, as a recent date kept asking, So, how are you? The same as I was 5 minutes ago, but getting more turned off each time you ask! * He has poor manners. He interrupts frequently, orders first, eats non-finger-food with his hands in a nice restaurant, walks ahead of you, does not open doors. * He's poorly dressed for the activity. He shows up in badly wrinkled shirts or slacks, rips in clothing, poorly kept, unpolished, or filthy shoes, ill-fitting clothes (too big, too small), hair disheveled or dirty, or shorts for a white-tablecloth dinner. While most guys are not clothes horses, they should at least be clean including neat. * He has trouble keeping eye contact, seems distracted by nearly everything around him. If he's having the much trouble staying focused, guess what? He'll have trouble staying focused on you in the relationship. Inattention plays out in other ways in a relationship, but I've seen the signs from the beginning with inability to stay focused in the conversation. * He's condescending to service staff. He is snotty to the waiter, snaps at the clerk, is arrogant with the ticket taker or valet. He does not have to act like they are his best friends, but needs to be pleasant including cordial to everyone he interacts with. * He seems paranoid including negative. He goes off on how all corporations are colluding to screw consumers, the government reads everyone's email including listens to every phone call, etc. He makes broad negative generalizations regarding people, women, government, etc. He gets irritated at life's common mishaps of traffic, lines, rude behavior, high prices. Life is too short to be listening to someone's frequent rants. * He gets sexual way too early. He tries to French kiss within minutes of meeting you, has his hand on your thigh, talks regarding how he wants to make love to you in various locations/positions, rubs his body inappropriately on yours, gropes you, at the end pertaining to the date he suggests he come home with you or you with him. * He complains regarding the women from past relationships. Or focuses on bad date stories. He's got a particular ax to grind including issues with women. You don't need to be the 1 to try to obtain him to see there are lots of good women out there. The bottom line is to be aware pertaining to the times you feel disappointed with his self-focus, inattention to you, disrespect, or boorish behavior. You can not build a relationship on a foundation of disappointment. You may think other attributes could make up for these disappointments, but while many of them are changeable, do you actually need a fix-up-project man?
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