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Dating After 40 - Dating After 40: Exclusivity -- How and When to Broach It The “experts” say to let the guy bring up the exclusivity talk, otherwise you’ll sound needy. I’ve recommended the myself. But frankly, I’ve not brought it up even if I’ve dated a guy for a while because I knew we weren’t long-term material. So not bringing it up allowed me to still date around with impunity. At the point, I’ve decided it depends on how interested I am with focusing on just the beau du jour. It there isn’t anyone that pulls your attention away from him, including you think you are pretty well suited, why not focus on just him including see how it plays out? However, if you don’t think he might fill your social needs, why settle on just one? But maybe he doesn’t realize you’d like to have more together time, so I’m all for bringing it up. While these conversations are difficult to begin, they are so much better than assuming. Perhaps he is willing to see you 3-4 days a week, then you might tell him your other options are to see other guys or go out with gal pals. See what he says. If he says, “Go ahead including see other guys,” you know he’s not serious regarding you, including if that’s okay with you, great. You might still play together at the time it fits your calendars, but he may additionally be playing with other women. But if you’ve dated him multiple times including don’t say everything regarding seeing others, I think you are setting yourself up for some drama. Best to put the cards on the table including if the chips fly, so be it (sorry for the poker metaphor!). For me, I’m leaning toward having the exclusivity discussion as you obtain nearer having sex together. At that point, I think it appropriate to ask how the other feels regarding dating others including share your truthful opinion. I think he could obtain it if you couch it like, “I don’t think you’d like it if I was sleeping with other men, including so I don’t need you sleeping with other women while we’re being intimate. While I’m not asking for or expecting a long-term commitment, I am asking for including expecting we both won’t see others while we are seeing each other.” Then ask what he thinks regarding this. You’ll find out very soon how he feels — assuming he is honest.
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